I am going to apologize in advance if this doesn't have structure and maybe a ramble. I am overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts...
There's certain moments, statements and situations in this whole long drawn out, dramatic domestic dispute that have hit me like a solid punch to the gut... Having me say to myself... "Oh, wow!" And crying an over abundance of crocodile tears.
I was in bed, and he was on the phone with whomever it was around September 4-6, 2016 at 2:24 am and I don't know if it was through speakerphone, bluetooth or interference, but I heard her say "She's right about one thing, I am in love with you. Last night was perfect, it was how it should be." Soon after I heard him scream at her when he found out she had confided in Pat from work. When I did a factory reset on my phone and restored with a back up from iCloud, and our iMessages were combined, I read a text from November 23, 2016 at 7:24 pm, over Thanksgiving where he says to the replacement, now GF, "I wish you were here....You could have come if things would have happen sooner, lol." She responds confidently, with "It's Ok, next time for sure."Just two nights ago, October 19, 2017, his side-girl, FWB, mistress, "psychotic ex roommate who stole everything including the dog" (his words to me) or whatever he calls her or she calls herself, but the girl he cheated on me with and now cheats on the replacement with... Called me and said... "I know you are going to summoned me to testify and I have to tell the truth.... I am not against you, but I am not against him either. You are putting me in a really bad position." Then she went on to say, "when you reached out to me and acted like you wanted to be my friend and recorded the things I told you, your tricked and deceived me. You lied." Yes I did reach out to her, I wanted to know the truth... I did record her because I was honestly scared for my life but determined for answers. My determination is my worst enemy...Every time I hear someone say "But he's such a great dad." I cringe... it is like nails on a chalkboard. I want to scream so freaking loud, but I have learned to not be so defensive about it. People only know what is on the surface... So now I simply respond with "I don't agree. He is a good dad. Our daughter is well cared for, healthy, smart, beautiful and super happy.... But GREAT DADS don't do this to the mother of their children." Great dads don't hate the other parent, the biological mother, more than they love their child. I will make that clearer, GREAT PARENTS DO NOT HATE THE OTHER PARENT MORE THAN THEY LOVE THE CHIL.
Now my point of this blog, the common denominator in all 4 situations, the women or person that support these behaviors. We have all heard the saying if he does it with you then he will do it to you. But for some reason or another we all think we will be different, or maybe we actually love unconditionally and accept that it will not be different. Here's the thing though, we should all want to be the one who makes someone better not feed into them being God awful human beings. But yet it doesn't always go that way... It should but it doesn't. I don't understand it, I wish I did. I wish someone somewhere could explain this to me. Even these women's mother's the boast and brags about this man with their daughters. They say what a great looking couple, couple of the year, how they can't wait for their wedding day. Are you kidding me? I have 3 daughters and I dare each one of them to bring home one who says to me their ex was crazy or psychotic, because my question is what did you do to cause that person to be that way. NOW WAIT! There are exceptions to this rule, I get that some people are just crazy and their thought process is way out there. But for the most part how humans act is usually a reaction. I often say to myself "Self, (that's what I call myself), does anyone ever say to him 'Just stop it will do more for your daughter that you tried to help and gave her mother the opportunity rather then not' if no one has, can someone please do so?
If our friends are in situations that seem sketchy or just not right, we tell them? I do. SIDE NOTE: I have a friend, God bless her hopeless romantic heart, I am much more cynical given it all... Anyways she came to me one day so in love, and he was sweeping her off her feet, on expensive vacations, giving extravagant gifts, helping with her child. I asked her what do you other friends think? She said that it was like a dream come true, I told her eventually you wake up from dreams. I said something doesn't seem right it's too much too soon, he's roping you in to make it so you can't run away.... She was hurt, I understood. We agreed to disagree that day, and when 6 months later she called because she needed help leaving him, because it was worse than expected, she said to me "you were the only one who didn't say this was perfect." I would like to think that maybe somewhere through the time that she was there she heard my voice saying "no, something isn't right" because I thank god she didn't waste too much time with some one like him. Like I did.
In the last year the things I have found proof of and the records I have kept, they still shock me. He had sex with 9 women between me having our daughter, and the time he forced me out of our house, 5 months. 9 women came into my home and had sex with my husband with my child there, and no one came to me and said this is going on you are not crazy. He bragged about it to the girls at work, to his friends, on websites, live stream, but still no one warned me or stopped him. I have to subpoena people using phone records, videos that coincide with the ones protected form the "revenge porn" act to force them to admit the truth.
I will stop rambling....after this.....
A husband betrayed his wife, he got angry at her and blamed her, he cheated on her, he convinced her she was crazy, he convinced others she was abusive, he lied, he had others lie for him, and then he had the state come in and lied to them he threathened his wife to go along with what he said "or else" he abused her emotionally, physically, mentally and when she reacted he abused the system to do his dirty work. And took credit proudly, others helped him even more proud then he himself was at what he had done. He laughed about it, joked about it, would say to the child "uh oh mommy' crazy train is here choo-choo" or apologize that I was her mother, the crazy one. He had sex with multiple women while our child was in the bed, or sometimes in the other room, crying and he would yell out to her "Give me a few more minutes" He would put her in the crib and have sex with women on the couch right next to that crib.... I have the pictures, the videos. But no one else has come forward and admit their own wrongdoing, their part in it. Only the one girl who I recorded was the one to ever confirm what I knew, and thank god for that recording because had I not had it, I don't know if I would have kept fighting for my children, myself or anything....
He didn't hurt just me, he hurt 3 other children who are without their siblings, he walked away and is so cruel to his 5 year old step son who thought and still thinks is his best buddy, regardless of hi not seeing speaking or letting his sister see him. Butt yet I hear it everyday, at least once, he's' a great dad.
No, he's not, he's a good dad who provides for our daughter, he's not a good person, and if you support such behavior ask yourself what kind of person your are, please? Question your motives, reasoning, sensibility and logic on why you think so, how do you justify it? Don't say you care for my daughter, my children, and want what's best while you assist in the ruining of their lives..... When you are done with that.....Then put yourself in my shoes... I can only hope, that there is a special place in hell for those that claim love and act in hate.
Help raise funds for attorney to assist in this smoke and mirror fight.
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