WRITTEN DEC 5, 2019
I made so many bad choices in my life, I guess that is how I got to my current destination. Now, I know the sayings the standard "hoo'ray" mojo, your current desitnation does not have to be your final desitnation. I am not sure if that is true for me right now... I am deep into my own pity party and don't really want to it to end.
I don't think I can be ok. I don't think I want to be ok. I feel like I am just setting myself up for failure. Why would I keep doing that to myself? I have picked myself up over and over, and then one day, this day I made a decision that I don't want to do it anymore or ever again.
Maybe I am unable to be loved, maybe I am unable to get past where I am emotionally. Maybe I can just accept that this is my fate, missing the people I love so very much and watching them do better, be better and go on without me in their lives.
Maybe this is where I end up, maybe this is my fate, my destination.
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